Venting

I know I haven't been on here in a while but I have decided today would be a good day to login. So let me just start off by saying I am so tired of people. I know I am not the perfect person but I have a good heart and come from a good place. I believe I'm A good person. This past year has been tough. I have lost people who were close to me that I thought were my friends and ended up not being a good friend at all. And what hurts the most is that even though were not friends I still care about that person. There are some days where I truly feel like I have not one genuine friend. I could just be over reacting..ugh I don't know. I just hate giving people 100% of my friendship and they only give me about 10%. Yes, I get the fact that people have their own lives to live, but damn. I just feel like people are my friend because I'm their last resort. I feel so alone and when I really need a friend to be there for me..I turn around and have no one. It's so hard for me to deal with because I have never been in this situation. Is it me? What am I doing wrong? Everything else is going great, I mean I'm planning a wedding and getting married. I've been blessed with two beautiful boys and I'm buying a house soon. The only thing that is missing is girlfriends to share my experiences with. Well whatever..I hope things change. Because I totally feel like hiding and shutting down. Gosh maybe I'm depressed who knows. I sound so pathetic right now. well i'm going to stop. Until next time.